


At the End of Our Thread

by ReyloTrashCompactor (NextToSomething), SouthSideStory



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Loss of Virginity, Post-TLJ, Pregnancy, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey, Virginity, discussion of pregnancy more specifically, force skype
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 15:02:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15145709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NextToSomething/pseuds/ReyloTrashCompactor, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthSideStory/pseuds/SouthSideStory
Summary: When Rey asks the mirror to show her family, it isn’t the parents who abandoned her that she sees; it’s Ben, and the child they could someday have. Months later, their bond in the Force flares to life, bringing the truth out and drawing her closer to Ben, tempting her with the beautiful possibility of having a real family for the first time.





	At the End of Our Thread

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Please enjoy this little post TLJ oneshot. I hope you have as much fun reading it as we had writing it. :)

.

.

Rey needed to see it, to find the truth. If the dark side was enough to turn gentle Ben Solo into Kylo Ren, then it was enough to show her the answer to one easy question. Easy, but the question that had shaped her as a person.

She felt immediate relief when she stood next to the dark chasm, and when she dropped down through it, she hated how right it felt. Quiet, like she was the only person in the entire galaxy. Then, she was. There was only Rey, one million Reys. And at the end of it all, a mirror that would uncloud if she just asked.

“Please, show me my family,” she said.

And it did.

But not the family that had abandoned her. Instead she saw Kylo—Ben—his large hand resting on a little boy’s shoulder. Tall, proud, the faintest smile at the corner of his mouth.

The child was theirs. Down to the thick mop of hair and big ears and hazel eyes and full lips. Theirs, but mostly his.

.

.

Kylo’s bond with Rey had been quiet since she’d shut him out, and he was thankful for it. Perhaps she’d managed to cut it, like scissors slicing through thread. That would be for the best—even if it did leave him restless, holding one end of a string that led to nowhere. To no one.

So it surprised him when he felt that subtle pull, a tug on his heartbeat that heralded their connection opening. The sound in his bedroom seemed to narrow, rushing and sharpening at once, until all he could hear was the echoing sibilance of Rey’s voice.

“Three—no, four. It's a risk, but it's better if we're prepared—”

She blinked into view, standing rigid, holding her breath. He'd never seen her this put together: her arms covered entirely by whole sleeves, buttons instead of belts holding her outfit in place. A woman, in charge of others.

“Rey.”

She didn't turn to him, didn't acknowledge. She must not be alone. She murmured something, dismissing whomever she'd been instructing, perhaps. He stepped closer.

“Rey.”

Her eyes flickered to him and then to the ground. It was enough.

He’d been nothing but angry with her since she’d abandoned him, but now, in this unexpected moment that had brought her before him again, Kylo felt his fury soften. The Force had drawn Rey back to him, the way it always seemed to, and she wasn’t running away this time.

“Not going to shut a door in my face?” he asked. She looked away, a subtle pink filling the spaces between her freckles. “You can't pretend to not see me, feel me.”

“I'm tired,” she said, a whisper. Was she standing in a hallway? Were there people around she was trying not to frighten? “I must be slipping.”

Kylo walked closer, crowding her the way she’d done him in that turbolift on the _Supremacy._

_I’ll help you,_ Rey had promised, but she’d only wanted to help herself. To turn him to the light for the sake of her precious Resistance.

“Tired?” Kylo asked. “I’m sure you are. Constantly running must be exhausting.”

The Order had been tracking the remnants of the Resistance for two months, coming close, so close, again and again, but never quite catching them.

He wanted her to look at him. Just look at him. Even when glazed in rage, his peace lived in her eyes.

She did, but it wasn't anger he found. Fear. When had she gone back to fearing him?

“I thought you were gone,” she said, her voice a shaking breath. “I thought this was finished.”

Kylo bit the fingertip of his glove in crooked teeth, tugged it from his hand. He wondered if she could hear it slap against the floor as he lifted his hand to brush trembling fingers over that blushing cheek.

“We're never finished.”

And then he saw it, the mirror Rey had told him about, fractured and fogged but slowly clearing to show two shadows, truth hidden deep in the darkness. She’d said that there was nothing on the other side, but—

“You lied to me.” Kylo jerked his hand away, stumbling backward. “You saw him. Our son.”

Her fear blossomed into terror, her eyes greener behind tears. “Ben—”

And then she was gone. The subtle noise of his quarters filling the silence in his ears and washing away Rey's frightened plea.

.

.

The shower spray was loud against her skull, but she still heard, felt the shift. She stepped out from under the water, wiping her face and wrapping an arm around her torso to hide her breasts.

But he'd seen her already.

She'd caught him on the way to bed, or getting out of it, in loose pants and a sleeveless shirt that drew her own gaze to the hard, defined muscles in his arms.

His eyes were hovering somewhere beneath her navel, and she made herself not cover her curls. It didn't matter. It was only her body.

Ben’s lower lip trembled as he looked her up and down, making his full mouth seem vulnerable, in need of kissing. She wondered if he’d be any good at it, if he could teach her, or if it was something they would have to learn together.

Rey let her arm fall away from her chest, uncovering her breasts. He looked his fill, then asked, “You’re not very modest, are you?”

It might have been an insult, said differently, but she could tell it pleased him, and that sent a shiver down her spine.

“Not with you,” Rey whispered.

Soft, he made her so soft. Weak when she had never needed to be stronger.

“Good.” Ben strode over to her and placed one hand flat on the tile wall beside her head, half caging her. “Modesty doesn’t go a long way toward making children.”

She held his gaze for a moment before turning away. “Ben. That's not—we aren't—”

“Look at me,” he said, loud enough that his voice rang around the stall.

Rey listened, more out of shock than anything, because Ben nearly always spoke to her gently, and when he didn’t it shook her.

“What do you want from me?”

“I already told you,” he whispered. “To have you by my side.”

“To rule with you?” she asked sharply. “You have to know by now that I’ll never turn to the dark.”

Ben’s jaw was working, a muscle twitching under his left eye. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

She smiled weakly. “I'm only as stubborn as you, Ben.”

He fell quiet, his gaze slipping over her body again, more heated this time.

“Meet me somewhere,” Ben said. “No stormtroopers, no rebels. Just us. I won’t fight you or try to capture you.” He was almost smiling now. “Think of it as an armistice, for a night.”

Rey breathed the word in. _Armistice._ A few hours without sides. Would it be enough?

“And then what?” she asked. “Just because I saw a boy in a mirror doesn't mean that we have to…”

“Fuck?” he asked, his voice light. He lifted his hand, tracing the track of a water droplet over the curve of her breast. Her entire body tightened in response. “What if we just want to?”

“Ben—”

“ _I_ want to,” he said.

“F-fuck?”

His eyes were on his wandering fingers, tracing paths of fire over her drying skin. “Among other things.”

She didn't want to think of what else he might want with her. “When?”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Two standard days.”

She was free, of course she was. “And—and where?”

His eyes met hers again. “Takodana. Two clicks northwest of where we met. There's a bunker.”

She shook her head. “I don't know, Ben. I—”

“You do know,” he said, but his voice was growing airier, the Force around them closing in, tearing them apart, taking him away—

He was gone, and it was for the best. He wasn’t a liar—not with her, anyway—but she couldn’t trust him. Ben was her enemy, no matter how wrong that word tasted when she tried to apply it to him. _Just us_ , he’d said, but what would hold him to that promise? His brand of honor was difficult to predict, and he was an impulsive creature.

Meeting him would be foolish, and she wouldn’t do it. She’d stay right here, where she was safe.

.

.

Takodana was where you went when you didn’t want people to ask questions. Kylo had learned that when he was ten, traveling with his father on a _completely above-board trip, Leia, I swear it_. His mom had let him go when he she really shouldn’t have, because Han Solo was—had been—nothing if not a conman.

The bunker was a relic of some long dead rebel outpost, and his father had used it to store sensitive goods of dubious origin. Kylo found it in much the same condition that it had been in when he was here twenty years ago: dank, grimy, and deserted. Not the most romantic getaway in the galaxy, but he doubted Rey would mind a little dust. The girl had grown up in a sandpit, after all.

He had an hour to sit alone in this hideaway, trying to ignore the voices that weren’t echoing off the walls, before he sensed her. Kylo stood, releasing the hatch above his head and helping to hand Rey down. She was slender and wiry, more than capable of lowering herself down into the bunker, but he needed an excuse to touch her, really touch her, not reach across the stars for something not quite good enough.

There was more to her now, the barest softness over the sinewy strength. Good. She was eating, sleeping, looked after. He was sure if she gave that job to him, he could coax curves from her within a year.

He kept his hands settled at her waist, and Rey didn’t move away. There was a beautiful sort of honesty floating between them, an easy truth. They were here to make love, to lie down on the narrow cot along the wall and discover what pleasure could be made between them.

He smoothed her hair away from her face, marveling at how soft it was, as fine as a child’s. His own was heavy and coarse, thick. Their son would have his hair, he’d seen, though hers would be more beautiful.

“You think so loud,” she said, and he almost startled away at how close her voice was. Here, she was right here in front of him. “I think I understand better now why you wore that mask.”

They had never truly touched in a moment of peace. In the past there had always been violence between them or around them, but now, finally, they had the time and privacy for gentleness. No one watching, expecting them to fight, to hate each other. They were alone, here in this forgotten place. Alone together.

Rey cupped his cheek, then ran her finger along his scar. Kylo closed his eyes, remembering the moment she’d given it to him. The hatred and hunger in her eyes when she’d slashed his face with his grandfather’s lightsaber. How cold the ground had been beneath him, and the rich pain of his wounds, a hurt that had reminded him he was still horribly, wretchedly alive.

“You could have killed me,” he said. “It would have been easy.”

Rey hummed, low in her throat, and he looked down at her. Beautiful, she was so beautiful.

“Nothing could ever be harder than that,” she whispered.

For as long as he could remember, those around him were afraid of him. They wondered, either quietly or out loud, whether things wouldn’t be better if he was different. Or gone entirely. But Rey—Rey accepted him, wanted him exactly as he was. Even when he refused her pleas to join her, she didn’t want him dead.

Kylo kissed her. He didn’t know how, and he didn’t do it well, but Rey wouldn’t mind. She wouldn’t mind.

She was open to him, giving and taking as she grabbed onto his clothes. Kylo tasted her, deepening the kiss, a clumsy effort that he knew was overeager and messy. He wished suddenly that this wasn’t his first time, so that he might have some idea of what to do and Rey could enjoy it more.

Kylo pulled at her shirt, baring one shoulder so he could kiss her there too. He wanted to kiss her everywhere. Now, tomorrow, forever.

Rey threw her arms around his neck, kissing back with greater need. He took what she offered, tasting her as he ran his hands under the back of her shirt. When he felt her naked shoulders he groaned; she hadn’t worn anything under her tunic, came prepared to be undressed.

“Take off your clothes,” he whispered. “Take all of them off and get in bed.”

Rey hesitated only a moment before stripping off her clothes. She was lovely, perfect, strong and slender, exactly what he wanted. He’d seen her naked before, but never in reality. Never when they were truly here together.

He reached for her, but she darted around his hand, going for the cot instead. She ducked under the old blanket and pulled it up to her underarms. He could feel that she was nervous, so nervous. Even if she hadn’t hidden under the blanket he would have known that, because he could feel it all over her. Kylo was nervous too, but he tried not to show it as he undressed and joined her in bed. He was hard already, just from a glimpse of her body.

He climbed on top of her and kissed her nipple, took the whole of her small breast into his mouth. Rey made a strangled noise, and he kept at it, working her with his lips, tongue, teeth. Her legs fell open to him, let him rest heavily against flesh that was damp already, and she gasped his name.

“Rey,” he breathed back. Not correcting her, not fighting, allowing himself to be her Ben for a moment.

“Please,” she said, and Kylo released her breast.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“Everything,” she said. “Everything.”

The bed was rickety and small, but Kylo had room to kiss his way down her body. He knew he was being sloppy, mouth too wet, too zealous, but he didn’t think she cared. When he reached her sex, he buried his nose in her thick curls, breathing in her scent. Earthy, feminine, Rey. Then he caught the undersides of her strong thighs and pushed them up, wide open, giving him better access to the softness between them.

Rey was breathing hard, grabbing at the mattress, face turned away like she couldn’t bear to see this.

“Watch,” Kylo said, and Rey looked at him, so quick to follow his orders.

He let go of her thighs and parted her with his thumbs so he could see her, pink and wet.

“Don’t—don’t just stare,” Rey said.

When he put his mouth on her, she shouted.

Kylo explored her, mapping her out with lips and tongue, until he found the place that made her writhe and whimper. He slid two fingers into her while he sucked and licked, and Rey arched against him. She was so tight, unused, and he wondered if she’d ever even touched herself this way. It was hurting her, he thought, but in a manner that she welcomed, so he thrust in and out, taking her with deep, hard strokes while he kept his mouth gentle.

His jaw ached, but it was worth it to feel Rey clenching around his fingers, to hear her crying out as she came. He’d done that, had driven her to a climax that left her quivering and sated.

Kylo bit at her hip bone, then sucked on the sharp crest, drawing out a tired sigh from her. When he glanced up he saw Rey breathing slow and heavy, looking like she might fall asleep right there.

“Wake up, sweetheart. We're not done,” he said. “Not even close to _everything_ yet.”

“Then give it to me,” she whispered. “Please, Ben.”

He shouldn’t like it so much, hearing Rey say his old name, but he did. Loved it, even.

Kylo fucked her, like she’d asked for, and once he was inside her he had to bite his lip and close his eyes, swallowing back tears. She felt so good, perfect and real underneath him.

Rey was sobbing, and not just from pleasure. This was hurting her more, he was hurting her, but she didn’t hate it. _Ben,_ she kept saying, over and over again, like he’d stolen every word from her besides his name.

He was close already, too overwhelmed to hold back. Kylo knew he should pull out, but he didn’t want to, couldn’t bear to leave her warmth when he could make her his. When he came, he shouted and took her harder, making sure to fill her, working deep. All the way to her womb, he hoped.

.

.

Ben was heavy on top of her, a burden her aching body welcomed. Everything between them to this point had been seasoned with pain; the love they made could only have hurt. It was a long moment before he pulled out of her and settled along her side. There was a mess between her thighs, his groin wet against her hip.

That was how it was done, she supposed.

He pressed his lips to her temple, an almost kiss that warmed her all over.

“How long have you known?” she asked, her voice quiet.

“Known what?” He sounded worn out, half asleep. His hand trailed over her stomach and came to rest heavy, lazy at her breast.

“That you loved me.”

He didn’t tense, didn’t flinch, just half kissed her temple again. “Starkiller. Chasing you through those woods—I thought I’d die if I didn’t catch you.”

She cupped her hand over his, feeling close to sleep herself.

“What about you?”

She didn’t have to think. “When you took off your mask,” she whispered.

Perhaps it wasn’t love immediately, but it was what led to it, so it should count. Seeing his face, his true face, had gotten under Rey’s skin and refused to leave. She'd felt something the moment she’d seen him, and the shock of it had confused her: attraction mixed with revulsion; a need to know him and to push him away; hatred tempered by a thin, unexpected, unrooted tenderness. Primal, like the Force itself had already tied them together, long before Snoke had the chance to.

Rey tried to turn away, but Ben wouldn’t let her. “You’ve loved me the longest?” he asked, his voice soft and wondering.

She shrugged a shoulder. “I guess so.”

He trailed his fingers over her stomach, and the look on his face was as reverent as it was greedy.

There he went, thinking so loudly again.

Rey breathed in deep, then let it out slowly. “I didn't take a contraceptive shot.”

That awed expression on his face turned smug. “I know.”

“How?” Rey asked. “I almost didn't even come here.”

“I know,” he said, “because I know _you_. Better than I'll ever know myself, probably.”

Rey turned onto her side, facing him. _Armistice_ , she reminded herself, but it was impossible not to think of sides now, when they were talking about the child they might have just made.

Ben shook his head before she could say a word. “Don’t. It’ll just ruin this.”

Rey felt that familiar heat in her eyes, then her vision blurred, and she hated how easily she was moved to cry. Hated even more that Ben brought her to tears the most.

She shouldn’t beg, not when it was so pointless, but Ben Solo made her desperate like nothing else.

“Please, just _think_ about it. We could be together, raise our son together—”

He cut across her, but with surprisingly hushed words. “You’ll be so beautiful pregnant. I can’t wait to see it.”

Rey swallowed, bending to him. “I don’t know the first thing about it. I’ll probably do it wrong.”

Ben smiled, so small she was sure he didn’t know he was doing it. “I’ll research it. I’ll take care of you, bring you all the foods you start craving and rub your feet.”

“Well that doesn’t sound half bad.” She snuggled in closer, pretending with him. “And when he comes?”

He kissed the top of her head, hugging her so close she could only take sips of air. “I’ll hold your hand the entire time. Dull your pain, if you’ll let me. Ice chips, cool rags, anything you need.”

Rey closed her eyes, even the pain of childbirth sounding like the sweetest escape. “And after?”

“I’ll love you both so much you’ll get sick of it. I’ll keep you safe, keep him safe. Try my best to not screw him up, no matter how powerful he is.”

“He’ll have both of us, somehow, and we’ll never leave him behind,” Rey said. “No matter what. Promise?”

Ben was quiet, so quiet, but then he said, “I promise.”

It was a sweet story, as tempting as it was impossible, but Rey decided she would face the hard truth of this later. For now, for this moment, she wanted to build a pretty make-believe with the man she loved. It wasn’t enough, but it was what they had, and she would hold onto it for as long as she could.

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**Author's Note:**

> We’d love it if you could take a moment to let us know what you thought in a comment below. <3


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